Twisted Spoke

My twisted take on the world of pro bike racing.

Armstrong’s new Team Radio Shack. The first shopping spree.

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First Peek: Armstrong's Radio Shack team-issue karaoke machine

First Peek: Armstrong's Radio Shack team-issue karaoke machine

Lance Armstrong announced today the formation of his new Radio Shack pro tour cycling team. That is tremendously exciting and Radio Shack already has a team microsite — which we first noted on the always fabulous letourbabe blog.

Although contracts and negotiations are still in progress for bikes, wheels and jerseys, Armstrong has quickly made several significant moves. According to informed sources, Armstrong’s people have been on a shopping spree at Radio Shack preparing for next year’s Tour De France.

A short list of items purchased:

Surveillance cameras. This 12 camera systems will establish a perimeter around the team bus and hotel to keep nosey UCI people out and make sure Contador’s new squad isn’t snooping around.

A shiatsu Massage cushion. Physical therapists and acupuncturists are expensive. Everybody on team Radio Shack will be using the new shiatsu cushion. There’s a choice of two massage styles: deep kneading or soothing rolling massage. Yeah, that’s recovery Radio Shack style.

The Amplivox wireless lectern. Get ready for those Tour de France press conferences in style. Comes with a  professional cardioid dynamic handheld microphone with 15-foot cord! Expect to see this snazzy oak lectern at every stage wrap-up.

The STVG999 Karaoke Machine. What says team unity like singing old top 40 songs together? Lance is taking no chances next time around. There will be no tensions between riders when the music gets going and Lance takes the mic to croon some Sinatra or Abba tunes.

The Bushnell Northstar telescope. The smart teams know recovery is far more than sitting around watching tv and surfing the net. Getting the whole team together right before bed and spreading out one big cozy blanket is a wonderfully therapeutic and relaxing way to end the day.

TriSquare 2-way walkie-talkies. Lance is always thinking, always ahead of the game. What if the Tour organizers insist on a full radio ban next year? Plenty of teams will be in deep doo-doo. But the regulations never said anything about walkie-talkies.

There you have it. Team Radio Shack. Ready to rumble in 2010.

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Written by walshworld

July 23, 2009 at 9:06 pm

3 Responses

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  1. […] Got a idea for Shack Lingo? Fire away. For news team Radio Shack’s first shopping spree, check out this post. […]

  2. […] How would you say no to Radio Shack? Bad spelling on the application? Too much money in the bank account? No UCI discounts on Radio Shack electronic appliances? This was a no-brainer. Radio Shack has already done their Tour shopping spree. […]

  3. […] arrive. You know Lance has one on his iphone– the man is meticulous. In fact, after their shopping spree, every rider on Radio Shack has one or […]


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